My holoidays so far.

Well, contrary to what people say, finishing year 12 doesn't really feel much different, except for the fact that i am now constantly bored!! It does feel nice to not have to worry about studies and be stuck at home. So far, I've been catching up on movies and tv series. Also, I've been shopping, which is not good, cause i'm spending money...& i'm running out soon. :D Oh yeah, today, i went for an assessment to work at ANZ. It was held in the city..which i am not a big fan of. So, i got there early, & had to wait for 5 other people to arrive, cause group work is involved. The assesment was held in the 44th floor of the building (there is a reason as to why i mentioned the level. hold on). So, We began with just an informtion presentation on ANZ; what they do, how they do it & their goals. We then went on to do numeracy test, which only involved doing simple calculations without a calculator and spotting mistakes in calculations to gauge thoroughness. Ater that, we did a problem solving/reasoning test; puzzles, matching things etc. Before we were able to move onto the third part, the fire alarm rang, & thee was an anouncement saying that it was a drill ans everyone had to do it. SO!!! WE HAD TO WALK DONW 44 LEVELS OF STAIRS!!! I was wearing my boots tha had heels!!! man!!! by the time i got down to the 20th floor, my knees were buckleing & shaking. so, lets just say that that was my exercise for the year. I think that even though it was tiring, it was a whole lot more exciting than the assessment itself....so i won't bother telling you any more about it. :D

The End Of A Chapter In My Life.

"Me in Year 7"
"Me NOW"

Wow, my career as a school student has come to an end. I am about to graduate to qualify for the position of a University student. What a weird thought!!! I don't know if I'm ready for this. School is all I've known for so long. I have so many wonderful memories at school, both in primary and secondary, & I have had the privilege of so many awesome, life changing friendships. I believe that I have become the person I am today largely due to the experiences I've had at school, & through being with the people around me. (hmmm...i wonder if that's a good thing?" Even though I won't be at school anymore, I sure do hope that I will be able to stay in contact with most of the people from school.

OH!!! I've been wondering what to do for our 5 year reunion. Apparently I'm in charge of organising it. That should be so much fun. I hope the hard part (getting in contact with everyone) isn't going to be too troublesome. NOBODY CHANGE THEIR EMAIL ADDRESSES!!! Even though i managed to get everyone's email addresses on paper, i really hope everyone will somehow still be connected to each other. That would make things so much easier. Apart from that, I'm looking forward to seeing everybody in 5 years. I sure hope i don't forget about it. :D

Anywho, Starting a new chapter in my life is going to be an interesting, & hopefully also a pleasant experience.

I wonder...

Sometimes...

I wonder if what I feel is ever the same as what others feel.

I wonder if anyone thinks the way I do.

I wonder if anyone understands why i do the things i do.

I wonder if I REALLY know the people I love.

I wonder if others REALLY know how I feel about them.

I wonder if I think about things TOO MUCH!!

SOMEONE TELL ME!!!

Last Day of Yr 12

Sigh...I never thought that the day would come where I'd be finished with school. I thought that I was going to be one of those people who cry and cry and cry...But, to my surprise, i was just so very, very happy and excited that it didn't even occur to me to cry. One thing however still sort of makes me sad. Being able to see all my friends everyday is something i have definitely taken for granted. I am especially going to miss the people who I don't get to see at church. The last day at school was so busy, but also so much fun. A bunch of us girls took so many pics at the playground, the gym stairs and the oval. We got some of the guys to take the pics for us...they were holding about 20 cameras altogether. so, those pics took a while to take, but it was so worth it. Sigh...good times.

"hmmm....that is the perfect way to invade someone's personal space. Getting in those positions could not have been comfortable. Thankfully, i was standing at the top. hehe..."

"OOO!! that was fun to take. Jess, Hannah and Kim were nice enough to help us take the pics from the oval. i think this took longer than the playground pics."

"Awww...we all look so happy and a lot like a family. sniff...sniff..."

"Who knew that girls could jump so high in summer uniform."

Our yr 12 chapel went surprisingly well. Everyone was semi-cooperative & enthusiastic. But overall, it was really a blast. The parents and other students enjoyed it nd thought that it was funny...which was our objective for the chapel. So, mission accomplished. I will definitely remember this for a long time!!

My Legacy??

Do I have a legacy?
What will I be remembered for?
Have I done anything to better people's lives?
Will I even be missed?
What will people say about me at my funeral?
Do people know who I really am?
Do I know what I have left to this world?

For quite a while now, I have always wondered what it would be like if I left the world. What would people say in my eulogy? Do I really know what people think about me? Sometimes, I wish that when I died, I would be able to float around like those ghosts in movies so that I could see how people react... if they reacted at all. I don't want to have lived without making a lasting difference in the lives of those around me. I don't want to be a disappointment to God. I don't want to have lived for nothing.

The Reason...

It has been a while since I've had to remember why, but I knew that i used to keep my feelings bottled up for a reason. However, I had forgotten the reason...therefore, i chose to give it another shot. But guess what...nothing has changed. I share what I'm feeling with people, & they just crush it like its ridiculous. So stupid of me to even try again. Now I know for sure. Its never going to happen again!! NEVER!!

My 2 week plan...

Well, the 'so called' holiday for year 12's has indeed begun, & we are all supposed to be on 5th gear by now. The most common phrase my parents, teachers & older friends are saying to me is..."only one month to go. Give it your best shot!!!". SIGH!!! Sp, i have a plan in my head that i hopefully will actually put to practice. I have a checklist of things to do in the next 2 weeks.

TO DO:
~ 6 English Essays
~ Finish Checkpoints for Psych
~ Finish Exam Busters for Chem
~ Further Maths past year exams
~ Chem Exams

I am really hoping that i will feel motivated enough to actually complete this checklist. There is so much to do, & so little time to do it. well....lets get to work. :D

Tired...

I love being able to meet new people & strengthening old ones. I love to be an encouragement to them. I love being able to hang out with them & just talk for hours. But with so many of the relationships i have with people, it always seems like I want to see & spend time with them more than they do with me. Most of the time, I am the one who initiates things; smses, calling etc. Its not that i don't like doing it...Its just that after so long, I've gotten tired of being the one who always has to put in all the effort. Friendships are supposed to be a 2-way thing. Some of my friends understand that concept, but most don't. Its not rocket science. If you care about someone, then SHOW IT!!! So many times in the past, I have gotten the feeling that I want to see others more than they want to see me. As much as it may not seem to be a big deal, it is to me, because I value the friendships I have with people. I am so tired of being the one who cares more. I am so tired of being the one who has to start things. I am so tired of being taken for granted.

P.S) TO ANYONE WHO READS THIS: Do me a favor & don't try to start doing extra things just because I've written this. Its insulting!! I will know a difference.