My holoidays so far.

Well, contrary to what people say, finishing year 12 doesn't really feel much different, except for the fact that i am now constantly bored!! It does feel nice to not have to worry about studies and be stuck at home. So far, I've been catching up on movies and tv series. Also, I've been shopping, which is not good, cause i'm spending money...& i'm running out soon. :D Oh yeah, today, i went for an assessment to work at ANZ. It was held in the city..which i am not a big fan of. So, i got there early, & had to wait for 5 other people to arrive, cause group work is involved. The assesment was held in the 44th floor of the building (there is a reason as to why i mentioned the level. hold on). So, We began with just an informtion presentation on ANZ; what they do, how they do it & their goals. We then went on to do numeracy test, which only involved doing simple calculations without a calculator and spotting mistakes in calculations to gauge thoroughness. Ater that, we did a problem solving/reasoning test; puzzles, matching things etc. Before we were able to move onto the third part, the fire alarm rang, & thee was an anouncement saying that it was a drill ans everyone had to do it. SO!!! WE HAD TO WALK DONW 44 LEVELS OF STAIRS!!! I was wearing my boots tha had heels!!! man!!! by the time i got down to the 20th floor, my knees were buckleing & shaking. so, lets just say that that was my exercise for the year. I think that even though it was tiring, it was a whole lot more exciting than the assessment itself....so i won't bother telling you any more about it. :D

The End Of A Chapter In My Life.

"Me in Year 7"
"Me NOW"

Wow, my career as a school student has come to an end. I am about to graduate to qualify for the position of a University student. What a weird thought!!! I don't know if I'm ready for this. School is all I've known for so long. I have so many wonderful memories at school, both in primary and secondary, & I have had the privilege of so many awesome, life changing friendships. I believe that I have become the person I am today largely due to the experiences I've had at school, & through being with the people around me. (hmmm...i wonder if that's a good thing?" Even though I won't be at school anymore, I sure do hope that I will be able to stay in contact with most of the people from school.

OH!!! I've been wondering what to do for our 5 year reunion. Apparently I'm in charge of organising it. That should be so much fun. I hope the hard part (getting in contact with everyone) isn't going to be too troublesome. NOBODY CHANGE THEIR EMAIL ADDRESSES!!! Even though i managed to get everyone's email addresses on paper, i really hope everyone will somehow still be connected to each other. That would make things so much easier. Apart from that, I'm looking forward to seeing everybody in 5 years. I sure hope i don't forget about it. :D

Anywho, Starting a new chapter in my life is going to be an interesting, & hopefully also a pleasant experience.

I wonder...

Sometimes...

I wonder if what I feel is ever the same as what others feel.

I wonder if anyone thinks the way I do.

I wonder if anyone understands why i do the things i do.

I wonder if I REALLY know the people I love.

I wonder if others REALLY know how I feel about them.

I wonder if I think about things TOO MUCH!!

SOMEONE TELL ME!!!

Last Day of Yr 12

Sigh...I never thought that the day would come where I'd be finished with school. I thought that I was going to be one of those people who cry and cry and cry...But, to my surprise, i was just so very, very happy and excited that it didn't even occur to me to cry. One thing however still sort of makes me sad. Being able to see all my friends everyday is something i have definitely taken for granted. I am especially going to miss the people who I don't get to see at church. The last day at school was so busy, but also so much fun. A bunch of us girls took so many pics at the playground, the gym stairs and the oval. We got some of the guys to take the pics for us...they were holding about 20 cameras altogether. so, those pics took a while to take, but it was so worth it. Sigh...good times.

"hmmm....that is the perfect way to invade someone's personal space. Getting in those positions could not have been comfortable. Thankfully, i was standing at the top. hehe..."

"OOO!! that was fun to take. Jess, Hannah and Kim were nice enough to help us take the pics from the oval. i think this took longer than the playground pics."

"Awww...we all look so happy and a lot like a family. sniff...sniff..."

"Who knew that girls could jump so high in summer uniform."

Our yr 12 chapel went surprisingly well. Everyone was semi-cooperative & enthusiastic. But overall, it was really a blast. The parents and other students enjoyed it nd thought that it was funny...which was our objective for the chapel. So, mission accomplished. I will definitely remember this for a long time!!

My Legacy??

Do I have a legacy?
What will I be remembered for?
Have I done anything to better people's lives?
Will I even be missed?
What will people say about me at my funeral?
Do people know who I really am?
Do I know what I have left to this world?

For quite a while now, I have always wondered what it would be like if I left the world. What would people say in my eulogy? Do I really know what people think about me? Sometimes, I wish that when I died, I would be able to float around like those ghosts in movies so that I could see how people react... if they reacted at all. I don't want to have lived without making a lasting difference in the lives of those around me. I don't want to be a disappointment to God. I don't want to have lived for nothing.

The Reason...

It has been a while since I've had to remember why, but I knew that i used to keep my feelings bottled up for a reason. However, I had forgotten the reason...therefore, i chose to give it another shot. But guess what...nothing has changed. I share what I'm feeling with people, & they just crush it like its ridiculous. So stupid of me to even try again. Now I know for sure. Its never going to happen again!! NEVER!!

My 2 week plan...

Well, the 'so called' holiday for year 12's has indeed begun, & we are all supposed to be on 5th gear by now. The most common phrase my parents, teachers & older friends are saying to me is..."only one month to go. Give it your best shot!!!". SIGH!!! Sp, i have a plan in my head that i hopefully will actually put to practice. I have a checklist of things to do in the next 2 weeks.

TO DO:
~ 6 English Essays
~ Finish Checkpoints for Psych
~ Finish Exam Busters for Chem
~ Further Maths past year exams
~ Chem Exams

I am really hoping that i will feel motivated enough to actually complete this checklist. There is so much to do, & so little time to do it. well....lets get to work. :D

Tired...

I love being able to meet new people & strengthening old ones. I love to be an encouragement to them. I love being able to hang out with them & just talk for hours. But with so many of the relationships i have with people, it always seems like I want to see & spend time with them more than they do with me. Most of the time, I am the one who initiates things; smses, calling etc. Its not that i don't like doing it...Its just that after so long, I've gotten tired of being the one who always has to put in all the effort. Friendships are supposed to be a 2-way thing. Some of my friends understand that concept, but most don't. Its not rocket science. If you care about someone, then SHOW IT!!! So many times in the past, I have gotten the feeling that I want to see others more than they want to see me. As much as it may not seem to be a big deal, it is to me, because I value the friendships I have with people. I am so tired of being the one who cares more. I am so tired of being the one who has to start things. I am so tired of being taken for granted.

P.S) TO ANYONE WHO READS THIS: Do me a favor & don't try to start doing extra things just because I've written this. Its insulting!! I will know a difference.

New Realisation!!

You know what!!! I used to love the weekends!! Then for some funny reason, I changed to despising Sundays. However, lately, i have dreaded both Saturdays & Sundays. I'm always home alone while everyone goes out with friends! My parents go out with other parents & Jonathan either goes out with his friends or goes to work. I know i should be studying, but it sure wouldn't hurt me, or anyone else to be able to go out with people. The only time I go out during the weekend is for church on Saturday, & for Chemistry tuition on Sunday nights! Also, sometimes I feel like I'm just tagging along with people. Its like they don't really want me there. I really don't like feeling like a third wheel around people. I think I'd rather stay at home alone. If that's not depressing, I don't know what is.

My Master piece!!!

This is my best work of art yet!! I'm very proud of it. Just for the curious, this art work does indeed have a history/reason behind it. Its rather funny actually. If you still want to know, just ask me. haha...

Sorry Kor...I just had to. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

To: My dearest friend Grace...

Dearest Hun,

There is so much I want to say to you, but am not quite sure how to say it all. Firstly (& most importantly), I love you so much!!! I love your 'sense of humor', your tendency to over think some things, your punctuality (hehe...), your 'siew chie', but tough (at the same time) personality, and the fact that you're always wanting to be honest to yourself & to others all the time. Thank you for always wanting the best for me in my studies, relationships with others, & in everything else in general.

With things changing, I know that it is hard to not know what will happen in the future with our relationship, but no matter what may happen, I know that when we both put effort into making things work, it will. In a relationship between best friends, even if things didn't change, conflicts are bound to happen. If they didn't, how would our relationship grow stronger? Just for the record, if in the future I REALLY DID HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN you or some guy....I WOULD CHOOSE YOU!! Our friendship means the world to me, & I will do my best to make things work out no matter what, because you're without a question, most definitely, absolutely worth it!!

Thank you for making life worth living so much more! You ARE one AMAZING woman...DON'T EVER FORGET OR DOUBT THAT!! Love you so, so, so ,much!!

Love,
Jo

AHHH!!!

Has anyone ever:

~ felt like they were in a mood of being more easily annoyed than usual?
~ felt like things were not going the way you had hoped?
~ felt as if the people around you were not being real to you?
~ felt like the people around you were ganging up against you?
~ felt as though the people around you were causing you to be exhausted?
~ felt as though time was dragging on?
~ felt like hiding away from everyone & everything in the world?

.......................................................................................

Well, I have, & it sucks!!! But, its all in God's hands now.

New VCE jumper.

Well, this week we finally received our long awaited special Yr 12 jumpers that were so brilliantly designed by Samuel Hoe. There were a few choices that we could pick from: black hoody/pink words, black hoody/electric blue words, black hoody/white words, grey hoody/black words, navy blue hoody/white words.

"I got the black jumper with the pick words...not a clue who convinced me to get that."
"The Logo on the front of the jumper. a mix of different fonts."

"The Logo on the side of the sleeve. COOLEST!!!"

"The back of the jumper. the '08' is made up of all the names of the people in our year level. The 'ALL KNOWING' is my nickname. hehe...i know. I just put it there, cause i knew that people would laugh every time they look at it. As long as they are happier after looking at it, I'm happy."

So, that's out cool VCE jumper!!! woo hoo!!! Its so much more comfortable than the woolen jumpers that we all had to wear. I love it!!!

The weekend + Realisations...

This weekend was both rather enjoyable & totally boring at the same time. After school on Friday, i just came home & worked on the posters i was going to put up on my wall with all my subject summaries. I think i worked on that for about 4 1/2 hours. that was draining. After that, Jon had life group at our house. So, people started coming at about 7.15pm. after the people started coming, i couldn't really concentrate. So, i think i just stayed in my room for most of the time listening to music and wasting time until they finished...then i went out and talked to friends. On Saturday, I got up at about 10.30, cause i spelt rather late. Then did a bit more work. After that, I met up with Gracey at church at about 5.25pm, even though our meeting time was supposed to be 5.15pm. tsk tsk (Hun, so much for being on time...hehe...it okay.) This time, we managed to talk quite a bit, cause we decided to talk in a more isolated place so that people wouldn't keep approaching us to talk...not that we don't like talking to them. Its just that it's the only time we really get to talk during the week. I think we talked for about 35 minutes, which is a whole lot more than we normally got to the past few weeks. So that was great!!! Saturday's service was very interactive because of Lisa McInnes Smith. She's so funny & full of life/enthusiasm/passion. I really admire her for that. On Sunday, it was probably the most boring, slow-moving day in the past 5 years!!! Dad, mum & Jon went out and Cheryl was in her room the whole time. So, it was pretty much me being home alone!! Its not that i don't like being home alone, but its nice to get out of the house once in a while (apart from school & church).


well, apart from my weekend, it has just hit me that i only have about 5 weeks of school (not including hols & exams) left!!! OMG!!! I'm not really shocked about exams or anything. I think I'm more stressed about our Valedictory dinner, the last chapel & getting out of school!! I'm not sure if I have fully prepared myself for uni just yet. I'm not even 18 years old yet!!! Gee, time sure flies when you're having fun in year 12 (cough cough). sigh... Well, when the time comes, I'm sure that the shock will wear off, & that i will have a blast. I especially can't wait to get my car!! FREEDOM!!! Until then Joanne, Brace yourself!

The Power of L.O.V.E.

1 Peter 4:8
"Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins."

Honesty...

Definition: Honesty is the human quality of communicating and acting truthfully related to truth as a value. This includes listening, and any action in the human repertoire — as well as speaking.

Through school, i have also told myself that if i had a problem with others that wouldn't kill me, to keep it to myself. After all, why bother when its not that 'big a deal', right? There have been so many times over the past 6 or 7 years where something about someone has annoyed me SO badly, but i still kept it inside, which caused a built up of frustration towards the other person, and myself for not saying anything. There would sometimes be such a build up of tension between us that it was noticeable by others. However, just recently, i have learnt from a wise friend that if a relationship is worth fighting for, honesty towards each other is a necessity. It builds up trust, dependence (in a good way), and it creates a sense of acceptance that knows no bounds, because there is nothing to hide. Even though keeping things to myself has been a habit in my life, I am willing to try to be honest to those i love, & I will be looking out for the changes that it will bring in the relationships.

Dearest Grace,
Thank you for teaching me this valuable lesson, & for being so accepting towards me despite my faults. I will try my very best to be open with you even though I may feel vulnerable, because you, my dear, are someone definitely worth fighting for!!!

Update.......

Well, in the past week, quite a lot has happened...i think. On Monday, we discovered that our common room carpet was soaking wet due to the rain the day before. The water has seeped in because th bricks on the other side of the wall had been removed due to construction work. As a result of that, it was squishy & smelly. However, that was only a small part of my busy week. We had a further and a Chem Sac, & the most stressful thing of all....House Drama Competitions. The actual performance was on thursday, but everything had to start coming together. Fortunately for me, i had a very able director for our performance. (Ally. aka. future Tyndale house captain)
Ally had written & directed the whole thing pretty much by herself. Thanks to her, i only had to do a few things, like rounding up people who didn't turn up to practices, & making some props. Along with all that, i've caught A COLD!!! how much more convenient could that get?!?!? sigh... Anyways, on Thursday, our performance was so, so, so awesome!!! Everyone found it hilarious, & it was a complete success. Thank you som much to everyone who participated!!
Friday was a pretty good day, considering the fact that House drama was over, & so were my SACs. however my cold is still standing right next to me. hmmm...that's not going to be so helpful, cause musiquest is on Monday, & i have to sing. I sure hope i don't sound like a mouse. At youth, the Manifest band came & led worship. It was awesome, & God's presence was so obviously there. Lizzy & Simon were there too, cause Sim's in the band, & Lizzy's the wife + person who carries stuff around. haha...
It was great seeing them again after a while. Actually, i saw Liz on thursday...but i hadn't seen Sim since ages ago. I also managed to have a good chat to Sim about lots of things. Man, i sure so miss seeing them around. (wow...i'm rambling). Okay, i'll leave it at that. ta ta!!

Why , Oh Why!!!

Why in the world does the weekend have to be so short...especially saturdays!!! it sucks!!!

sniff...sniff...

Once upon a time, there lived a peaceful girl who loved to do scrapbooking. little did she know that something horrendous was about to happen. One day, as she was cutting something for her scrapbooking, the mean, old blade slipped from the ruler, & attacked her delicate finger!! *GASP!!! The blade had taken a big bite of her skin, & consequently, her finger began to ooze droplets of crimson blood.
The girl frantically tried to stop the blood with tissues upon tissues!!! Finally, she had no choice but to cut off the flap of skin that dangled from her finger in order to clean the would thoroughly. Despite the pain & agony, the girl overcame the trials, & came out victorious with battle scars to prove her victory. The End!!

the week ahead...

(refer to http://www.boltcity.com/copper/copper_021_happy.htm to read the full comic page.)
Well, this week is going to be rather enjoyable. Today, school was normal. Classes weren't too bad. Tomorrow, we have our privilege trip. the itinerary is as follows: 1. walking to knox from school. 2. bowling at AMF. 3. Lunch in the food court. 4. movie (choices are 'Dark Knight', Mama Mia, or Get Smart). I'm really looking forward to that. On Wednesday we are going to watch the play "A Man For All Seasons" in Dandenong. Its a couple of hours long....i sure hope that its interesting. We have a day off on Thursday because of Parent Teacher Interviews...which i am planning to go along to, because teachers are nicer when the student is actually there. Sadly, classes are as normal on Friday. Lifegroup is then on friday night. I am absolutely hanging on to my sanity this week just for saturday. I'm really hoping that i'll be able to meet up with Grace after she gets back from Bendigo for the weekend. I miss her already. On Sunday however, homework is the only plan for the day, & Chemistry tuition at night. =( Oh well, at least i have tuesday, wednesday, friday night & saturday to look forward to!!!